Believe
by Cheeseburger of Doom
Summary: If you don't believe in yourself, no one else will believe in you...but if no one believes in you, why bother believing in yourself? [MuromachiDan]


A/N: Some of this might be slightly off. I'm never good at fine details...but hey, it's fanfiction, right? Ah, and I don't know why this pairing. Just because.

Dan won't say "desu" every time he talks, because it's annoying to read that way, unless it's humor. Of course, if this was Japanese, he would most definitely be "desu-ing", so please think of him all cute like that.

If Muromachi has a different personality than I've given him, I apologize. If Muromachi has a personality at all...someone please tell me what it is!!! (heh)

EDIT: Ah, for some reason, when I wrote this, I was under the impression that Muromachi was Yamabuki's buchou. I've learned otherwise since then, but since I don't really want to do a rewrite (I like the fic as it is), then for the purposes of this fic, let us pretend that it is a year later, and Muromachi really is the buchou while Dan is a second year.

****

Believe

He wasn't very good at tennis, but for some reason, they let him play, anyway. After Akutsu left, he somehow he made it onto the team, and somehow, he stayed there. He missed having Akutsu around, but he was glad to have the opportunity to actually play instead of watch.

The biggest problem with his game was that he wasn't playing for himself. It took him a long time to figure that out. He was playing because Akutsu-sempai had played, and he had admired Akutsu-sempai so much -- even though most people were afraid of him.

Once he did figure it out, though, he tried to start playing for himself. He tried to believe that wanted to win so that he could win, not so that he could follow in Akutsu's footsteps. He tried to play the game the way it was meant to be played, but it just didn't happen.

He didn't believe in himself enough.

Still, whenever he was done a match, his buchou would ruffle his hair, and say "Good work, kid," and Dan Taichi would keep on playing, even though he truly felt that he lacked the talent.

Dan never let go of the headband that Akutsu had given him. It got into his eyes and he could never see a thing, but he wouldn't give it up. It was his treasure. It bothered him when people teased him about it.

"You should take that off when you play."

Dan glared at Muromachi-buchou. "I like wearing it."

"It's not much of a good luck charm if you can't see anything," Muromachi pointed out.

Dan was not the type to stand up and rebel against authority, even the minimal authority his buchou had, but in this case, he was not going to be moved.

"Akutsu-sempai gave it to me," he said, as if that explained everything. Well, it _did_ explain everything. Akutsu was his hero still, even if he wasn't around anymore. Akutsu, who never let anything get in his way.

Actually, it was funny -- Akutsu never listened to any authority, even those much, much higher than that of the buchou of the tennis club, but Dan couldn't stand up to anyone, nor did he want to. Akutsu might have been his hero, but that was really only in tennis alone.

"I'm just trying to help you with your game, kid."

"You really shouldn't bother with me. I'm not even good enough to worry about having to see anything," Dan said. "I won't hit the ball, anyway."

"Hey. I won't put up with that kind of attitude around here," Muromachi said. "You wouldn't be on the team if there was no hope for you."

"I guess not."

"So next time, play without the headband!"

Next time he played, Dan wore the headband. Muromachi didn't say anything about it after that.

"You've been improving."

Dan almost jumped. He hadn't known that Muromachi was behind him.

"Really?"

"I wouldn't say it if it wasn't true." Muromachi seemed amused.

"I don't feel like I've been improving." Dan pushed the green headband up a little so that he could see Muromachi's face. He wondered why the buchou always wore those weird-looking sunglasses. Maybe he didn't like the shape of his eyes? Or, maybe those glasses were his treasure. Did Muromachi have a hero? It would probably be rude to ask a question like that of someone he didn't know all that well.

"Why are you always so down on yourself?" the buchou asked.

"I guess it's because I'm not very good at anything," Dan replied, a little glumly. Nothing seemed fun anymore. Nothing seemed worth his time anymore. Akutsu wasn't around, and there was no one for him to hero-worship, so it felt really pointless. He didn't really think he was cut out for tennis, and he was only doing it because Akutsu-sempai had said, in his own roundabout way, that Dan could if he really tried.

He really wasn't trying all that hard, though. He had at first, but not anymore.

"You're a good kid, Dan. Don't do this to yourself," Muromachi said, and he ruffled Dan's hair.

Dan never got annoyed when he did that, but the action baffled him. The buchou never did it to anyone else. It was probably because Dan seemed so...well, little, compared to everyone else and he felt he could get away with it.

I've become the team mascot, Dan thought, and that's all. I don't think they take me seriously as a player.

"Maybe they would if you started taking yourself seriously."

Dan blinked. He hadn't realized he'd spoken the last out loud. "Maybe I would take myself more seriously if other people did," he countered.

"You got me there."

"Thank you for the advice, Muromachi-buchou. I just don't think I'm worth it," Dan said.

"Like I said, don't be so hard on yourself."

"I'll try."

Dan didn't try. He felt that he deserved to be hard on himself.

"Hey, Earth to Dan."

Dan blinked. "What?"

"You were somewhere else."

"Sorry," Dan said. "Did you say something?"

"You know, a couple of months ago I thought you were just a really cheerful, cute little kid," Muromachi said, "But lately you haven't been cheerful at all."

Cute? What was he talking about? Dan looked down at his feet. "Well, I haven't been feeling cheerful lately."

"Is it because Akutsu left?"

"Well...mostly," Dan said. "I'm not a very good player, so I can't really fill his spot, can I? Without him around, I don't have any encouragement, either."

"Akutsu? Encouraging? He wasn't really the type," Muromachi said.

"Maybe not to anyone else."

"You know, it sounds like you're in love with him."

Dan's cheeks turned red. "I'm not! It's just...He was the only one who had any faith in me at all, even if he didn't really say it. I know he did."

"I was just teasing you, kid. Even if you were in love with him, I really wouldn't want to know."

"I don't really like to be teased," Dan said, quietly. Muromachi was right. He had changed in the past few months. He'd realized that he really couldn't play tennis very well, and even though he would get better with practice, he would never be as good as Akutsu-sempai or Echizen-kun. He just lacked the talent. It was the honest truth, and he didn't bother to deny it.

"Sorry," Muromachi said. "I was just trying to make you smile."

"Don't bother with me, Muromachi-buchou. I'll be fine," Dan said.

He would, too. Eventually.

"Dan. If you don't want to play tennis, why are you still here?" Muromachi asked.

"How did you --"

"Your heart really isn't in the game."

"I didn't want to let the team down. I wanted to play to prove that I could do it," Dan said. "I know that I can't, but I want to anyway."

"Kid..."

Muromachi always called him that. It didn't irritate him; Dan knew that he was still a kid, really, and he wasn't going to try and make anyone see him as an adult when he was still so little. It didn't irritate him, but it made him a little sad, because it proved that Muromachi also thought of him as the team mascot, or pet, and not as a player.

Maybe he should just go back to being strictly the manager.

"If you don't want to play, then you don't have to play. I was hoping I could leave the team to you after I graduate, though."

Dan looked up at his buchou. "Why would you want to depend on me?"

"Because, I've told you before, you're a good kid, Dan. Even if you're not the buchou next year, you'd still be around to keep the new players in shape."

"The main reason I keep playing is because..." Dan couldn't say it. It was too embarrassing.

"Because? Is it because you want to prove yourself to Akutsu?"

Dan shook his head. "Not really. I mean, I don't think he'd care, anyway."

"So what is it?"

"Because you always say 'good game' like you mean it," Dan said quietly. "Even though I know I'm no good, you always say that."

"I do mean it," Muromachi said. "When you play well, I'll tell you. When you don't, then I'll let you know that I can see your heart's not in it."

"I never play well."

"Dan Taichi, if you don't stop talking like that, I swear I'm going to do something I'll regret," Muromachi warned. "How many times have I told you that you're a good kid? Even if you don't continue with tennis, you'll find something that you love to do, and you'll be damn good at it."

"Why are you wasting so much time on me?" Dan asked.

"It's not a waste of time." Muromachi looked thoroughly frustrated by that point. "You are not a waste of time, Dan. You're a cute kid who needs to get some self-confidence."

Cute? There was that word again. "Do you really think I'm cute?" Dan covered his mouth. He really hadn't meant to ask that question.

Muromachi grinned. "Of course. Everyone thinks you're cute."

"So I really am the pet," Dan sighed.

"That's not such a bad thing. If you put your heart into your game, you can be the pet that can play." Muromachi leaned forward. "Besides, I don't think of you as the pet at all."

What exactly was that supposed to mean? "Do you actually take me seriously as a player?"

"If I didn't, would I bother with this conversation?" Muromachi asked.

"No..."

"It's time for you to start believing in your abilities, kid."

"I..."

"I believe in them," Muromachi said.

"You do?"

"I really do."

"Then I'll try." He really would try, this time. He wanted to keep getting his hair ruffled by the kind buchou, and being told that he'd played a good game.

Dan didn't want to see Muromachi go, but all third years had to graduate. It was a fact of life. He would see Muromachi again in a couple of years, but that seemed like an awfully long time to wait. And...what if they didn't end up in the same high school? Would they never see each other again?

He wanted to say thank you to his buchou for giving him confidence, but for some reason, he couldn't speak. He thought he might cry, and that would just be _so_ embarrassing.

"We won't be on the same team for a while," Muromachi said. "Maybe we'll never be on the same team again, but..."

Dan's lower lip was trembling. Muromachi had to smile -- it was too cute for words. "Listen, you don't have to be sad, you know. And I don't want you to stop believing in yourself, either. You don't need encouragement from anyone but yourself anymore. Okay?"

Dan nodded. "I'll keep playing for now," he said.

"Good to hear. I'll see you in high school, kid."

"I won't be a kid anymore by then." It was barely above a whisper, but Muromachi heard it.

"I'll have to think of a new nickname for you, then."

"Yes."

Dan seemed to hesitate for a second, and then Murmachi felt himself with an armful of Dan Taichi, who was giving him the tightest hug he had ever received.

"I'll miss you," he whispered.

Muromachi ruffled his hair. "I'll miss you, too. Maybe we'll have to run into each other sometimes, before then."

"You can help me practice tennis, after school," Dan said. "I'm still not very good at it, you know."

Muromachi shook his head. "I told you, if you don't stop that kind of talk, I'll do something that I'll regret!"

"I won't think that way as long as I can have you," Dan said, then he blushed. "I mean..."

Muromachi smiled. "I have to go. I'll see you soon, Dan." He leaned down, and kissed the cute little Dan on the cheek.

When he looked back over his shoulder, Dan was standing in the very spot he'd left them, holding a hand to his cheek. There was a shocked expression on his face, that turned into a silly little grin.

See you soon, Muromachi thought. And he would.


End file.
